If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the day after is always just damage control
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
