also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
