I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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