So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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