that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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