so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
