Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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