Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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