Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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