Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
