I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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