Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
