honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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