What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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