This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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