I want to have your abortion
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
