i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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