is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
