im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
