we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
