Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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