saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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