are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
