Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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