Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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