told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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