These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
