Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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