so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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