I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My life is pants optional.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
