Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
