This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
