physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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