party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
