Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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