3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
