oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
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I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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