I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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