lets start a swedish sibling band together
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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