i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I want a musical about memes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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