I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
