Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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