Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
