i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also, beer. Big fan.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
