she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
