We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
