But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
