got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
