I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
