I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
