Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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