i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
