Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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