I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All the doctor said was why
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
