Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
