She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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