That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
