I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
