proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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