i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
