NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
