I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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