Soap is not a condiment
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
