Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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