I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize