well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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