Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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